Thank god I am not lucky enough to have a house or a yard where, let’s say, I might want to have a super fun outdoor 4th of July BBQ tomorrow and invite all of my friends. That would be a disaster, as - being stuck in the office all day - when would I have the time to plan or shop for my super fun July 4th bash??? The excuse my employers use is that they are ‘not American’. This means I am also stuck on Memorial Day, Labor Day, and I would probably be here Christmas too if the company were open that week. This logic, of them not being ‘American’ and therefore not granting their administrative employees (who’s liasons ALL have the day off, btw) the day off paid, would lead to the assumption that they would then adhere to the work standards of their own country and at least give us THOSE holidays off. Well, sadly, this is not the case.

They are in a very fortunate [for them] position of avoiding giving ANY country’s holidays off, and they have managed to create a world for themselves in the middle. How nice for them. They reap the benefits of their employees’ hard work, while giving absolutely no gratitude or incentive in return.

I’ll have to remember this attitude when I am a money grubbing entrepreneurial employer, wanting to stay at the tippy-top while everyone around me struggles to make a living. Just claim I am from no country
(yes, I can do this too because I have dual citizenship… yup, 2 passports!) and I can make up my own rules and not feel guilty for denying a gift as pathetic as paid holidays off.

I sure can’t wait for Labor Day in the office

Guess they haven’t google’d the meaning of that one yet… Here it is guys..

But there are a few Country songs which are the biggest pile of crap. They are so stupid, I would have though they were supposed to be a hilarious parody like a Weird Al song… without the “Weird Al” and with a heavy pile of “crappy.” Without further ado.

The Three Crappiest Country Songs of 2008

These songs are rated on the order of lyrics/storyline.

1) First on our list:  Do you believe me now? by Jimmy Wayne

Storyline: In the past, the singer tells his girlfriend that he thinks this other guy is trying to hit on her. She doesn’t believe him. But in present time, she is now with this guy that he warned her about… The entire song is about how he was right and she was stupid not to believe him in the first place… wtf. Is that really what you wrote a song about? So the singer is a jerk wad and isn’t good enough for his girl friend, get’s in a fight with her, and she walks out and ends up with this other guy… Good job on being a fortune teller.

2) Don’t think I don’t Think about it by Darius Rucker

The story of yet another dumb ass who walked out on his girl, and now regrets it. How about not being a jerk wad in the first place. Every heard of being a good guy? It’ll keep you from doing dumb ass things.

3) She Never Cried In Front Of Me by Toby Keith

Third dumb ass in a row. This guy says “How was I supposed to know …I was putting her though hell.” wft? Are you serious? You’re married to her. It’s not that hard to tell if you’re being an asshole or a kind guy. Just because someone does complain or cry, doesn’t mean they’re happy.

Summary

Okay, so all of these songs all have stupid guys being jerks and then making up excuses for why they aren’t together and happy again. So dumb. I can’t even listen to the songs. Grow up and take responsibility for your actions. Isn’t that something you’re supposed to learn in high school?

I hope there aren’t a lot of people that “connect” to those songs… but since they were fairly popular, and I’ve seen a good number of people in this world, I’m sure there are. Where is society taking us?

-Ashton

Enjoy,
Ashton

We are furious! I can’t believe what just happened. I hate going to the movie theaters because it’s a waste of money. I did see Yes Man, because it looked like an absolutely hilarious movie. It fulfilled it’s promises. The preview was hilarious, and the movie was hilarious.

Watchmen’s Trailer

If you watch the Watchmen trailer, you will think that this movie is an action movie where superheros fight bad guys. Little do you know that you have now seen all of the best action scenes in the entire movie and that was only 3 minutes long. The movie is 2:43  minutes long. That leaves 2 hours 40 minutes of drama, gore and blue penises. (Okay, that’s a little exaggerated; I’d guess more like there was 20 minutes of action and 2 hours 23 minutes of other crap.)

Is Watchmen an Action Movie?

No.

Watchmen looks and claims to be an action movie, but it’s not. You could almost call it a chick flick/porno with a lot of gore.

Watchmen Looked so Good!

The opening scene was awesome. The first 10 minutes was perfectly filmed and had just enough action to keep you entertained with the storyline while they introduced you to the history and current events of the Watchmen’s world.

The few action scenes were great. From what I’ve seen of the comic book, they pretty much stuck to the storyline (at least for the beginning).

Why did Watchmen Suck so Much?

1. I already mentioned how the Watchmen Trailer sucked at communicating what the movie was actually about. Misleading me to thinking it was an action packed awesome movie, where in actual fact it had very little action, and too much drama.
2. BLUE PENISES! I did not need to see so much dick. Put a freaking loincloth on. There must have been at least 5 minutes of solid blue penises. Give me a break.
3. Character building: Why spend an hour building the character of a guy who died in the first scene. Knowing that the Comedian was an asshole was pointless to the storyline. Why don’t you build on Adrian. He’s one of the most important people in the storyline, but you don’t find out anything about him until the last freaking 20 minutes. Show the 3 minutes explaining Rorschach’s mask.
4. Gore: I realize this is a personal preference, but bending someone’s elbow backwards is normally gross enough, you don’t need to pop the bones out and squirt blood, too. I thought there was way too much gore, it was just distracting. I didn’t need
5. Storyline: The storyline was just not fulfilling. They spent way to much time on unimportant aspects of the storyline like Silk Specter’s difficulties loving Dr. Manhattan and how the comedian was an jerk to women.  When they could have put a little more time into so many other things. Why did the prison erupt into a madhouse? What was Adrain’s random animal? What was Rorschach’s mask?
6. I wanted more Action. If the movie descriptions and trailer didn’t say this was an action movie, I would have enjoyed the movie a little more… except for the biggest problem, which I saved for last:
7. Dumbest ending ever: The ending was the stupidest thing since leaving the loincloth in Viet Nam…

**Watchmen SPOILER Alert**

The Ending… To prevent possible Nuclear War, Adrain “the smartest man on the planet” decides to destroy the city of New York with a bomb that looks like Dr. Manhattan. This causes Russia to feel sorry for America’s loss and decides to join up with the US (and the rest of the world) against a common enemy… a blue god without a loincloth.

ARE YOU SERIOUS? That’s like saying the Middle East feels horrible about 9-11 and would like to help us rebuild our towers…

If that doesn’t seem stupid, wait for the punch line: Adrian thinks that this united world will now last forever, and that there will never be war again, because everyone is so afraid of Dr Manhattan…. You know, because nothing ever changes… and after Dr Manhattan leaves, the world will remain united for all eternity, waiting for this indestructible being to come back and kill them.

That’s not all… Dr. Manhattan also “realizes” how ingenious this plan is, and since he can see into the future, he can tell that the world will now forever remain at peace.

The only Watchmen with integrity, Rorschach, will not go along with this stupid plan to “save the world.” Since he is dedicated to honesty, Dr Manhattan kills him… great…

The only twist that I enjoyed in this moview was that Rorchach’s diary successfully made it to the newspapers when they ran out of things to print (because the world is now perfect…).

WHAT A WASTE OF MY LIFE.

That the last time I’m going to see a movie just because the previews look awesome… jerks.

Now thank god for the media, for saving the day
Putting it all into perspective in a responsible way
With more celebrity news
Typical bullshit views
I think we’re losing this fight
Sponsored by Bud Light

Definitely interesting…

And since I’m on it:

Save the Internet

I was getting a load of hay last week, when I saw this little black thing on the side of the “road” I was (slowly) driving down. As I got closer, I saw it was a kitten. I couldn’t believe how freaking small it was. I wish I had something in this picture to give a better sense of scale. (If it helps, that grass is tiny. The cat is probably 3 inches long.)

Click for desktop version 1200×900

Enjoy,
Ashton

Governmentium (Gv)
A major research institution (MRI) has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest chemical element yet known to science.

The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2- 6 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

In fact, Governmentium’s mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of morons promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.

When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.